Keeping the Faith

Happy Sunday Morning!

It's been hectic around here lately, which often turns in to stress, which again turns in to arguments and disagreements causing our home to not be a very pleasant place. Then when things don't go the way they are supposed to, and it feels like our lives are completely out of whack, it's hard to keep the faith that "everything will turn out OK".  That's when cute little stories in my inbox are welcomed.  This one, I found worth sharing on this beautiful Sunday. 

NEED WASHING? 

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom. She must have been about 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout... We all stood there, just inside the door of the mall. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. 

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. 

Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, 'Mom let's run through the rain,'  She said.  'What?' Mom asked.  'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated. 'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied. 

This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain...'  'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.  'No, we won't, Mom.. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.  'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'  'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ' If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything! '  The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one left. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. 

Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith. 

 'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mom said. Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.  They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did.  I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
 

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.
 

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. 

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

Growing Up Is Overrated

Remember when you were young and couldn't wait to grow up?  Finally get to the age where you could make all your own decisions, manage your own money, do what you wanted when you wanted without anyone telling you you couldn't? Yeah well, I take it back...or at least give me a rewind button for a redo of the last few years. No one said it would  be this complicated.

As a child, I think I got angry enough at my parents to run away only once.  That lasted about an hour and a half before living outside in the cold and rain didn't seem so appealing anymore. I don't think they even noticed I was gone before I decided to turn back.

 Last week, having another downer day as everything seemed to be falling apart (again), I wondered how far I could get this time....not really, but it struck me odd that at the age of forty-something, my "escape" would be discovered far more quickly than when I was a child, and that this time, even if I was only gone for a few hours, the repercussions would be much more severe....didn't we use to think growing up brought freedom to our lives?  Someone lied about how great adulthood was!

It's not my life in general I want to escape from (only very occasionally is this the case...).  I would just like to be able to solve some of life's many problems, preferably without it causing new ones. That can't possibly be too much to ask?  Well, maybe my approach to "solving problems" is more of the "easy way out". They might be clever solutions, but the results are about the same as when treating a broken bone with a band-aid...

So off we go to actually tackle these problems head on, and find real solutions.  Yeah me!  Although winning the lottery would solve a lot of them, so let me start with getting a few (hopefully) winning tickets...hey, don't judge...

How To Avoid Shopping With Your Wife...

Do you hate having to spend time waiting for your wife/significant other to browse her way through the stores?  This guy found some clever ways to avoid ever having to do so again.  Read and learn: 

RETIRED HUSBAND
 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. 

Photo by FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Ward ,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Ward , are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room? 
16. And last, but not least: October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Could be fun to try some of these just to see the reactions :-)

Mommy Needs to Get Laid

Kids say the darndest things!  Here's the latest one from my daughter:

She was chatting with her aunt on Facebook and her aunt asked if she had signed up for gymnastics yet. My daughter had just asked me if I had looked in to this for her, and I told her I had to wait till I got my next paycheck before I signed her up. So my daughter writes:

"No I haven't signed up yet.  My mom needs to get laid or lucky first"

Here I believed I was the only one who thought it was about time....

Now mind you, this is my ex's sister she is writing this to. God knows what she is thinking about me and how things work around here anymore.

Unfortunately for my daughter, if that is what she is waiting for, sadly I think it will  be a while before she starts gymnastics....

No, Penis Is Not Attractive!

As I continue on my dating adventures, the things that some times come out of my mouth surprise even me... Apparently when I passed 40, that little barrier in your brain that stops certain thoughts from actually being formed in to sounds coming out of your mouth, completely malfunctioned. My new motto is "say what you mean, and mean what you say." Not such a bad motto to live by. At least not until your date conversation turns in to "penis is not attractive." 

How the hell did that happen? I am not sure how I managed to turn the conversation from "which features do you find most attractive in a woman" to "penis is not attractive", but I did. At least I added the physical features I do like in a man first, but I am sadly afraid the latter part of that conversation overshadowed any of those. 

 Not that I don't actually mean it.  I didn't say I don't like it, or that I can't find a whole lot of pleasure in one, but not from looking at it. However, even I see that it may not be the best conversation piece on a date....poor guy.  I think I gave him such a penis complex, the chance of him actually ever letting me see it, is slim to none...and so we go on, living and learning. When to shut up seems to be the hardest lesson to ever learn though, but I'll get there. Probably not any time soon, but some time!

Keeping the Faith

After having a bit of a downer day today, I ran across a very enlightening article.  Funny how that is; when you need it the most, someone you have never even heard of, says exactly what you needed to hear. 

I classify myself as Christian, but think I have my own quite free interpretation of the Bible. I believe in God, and although I don't attend church on a regular basis, I am very spiritual, and also a true believer in Karma.  Therefore, I do my best to live by the Golden Rule, and treat others how I want to be treated. So then everything should be good, right?  No, not so much.  

In a recent phone conversation (read argument) with my ex, he told me "Karma's a bitch", and I kinda laughed at it,  and told my friends that he should be the one worried, not me. Well, things haven't exactly gone as planned around here, and I have questioned why, when I try so hard to  be good, do bad things happen?

That is exactly what this article spoke about. It referred to the Book of Job in the Bible; the story of Job, who is a righteous and very prosperous man. He does everything according to the book, but as his character and faith in God is being tested; he loses all his possessions, his children are killed, and he is left with nothing. Yet he does not curse God. Instead he endures every test, and still praises the Lord. In the end, Job's health is restored, and he gets a second family and twice the amount of live stock (the story, which I had heard, but never read before, was actually a good read). 

My first thought was that this story was written to show that no matter how bad your situation is, someone else is worse off. But that is not the point.  There will always be someone who has less or endures more pain or hardship than I ever will. The question is, can I keep my integrity in tact even during hard times? Can I find something to be appreciative of, and trust in God even when my life seems to be falling completely apart? And, can I find that certainty in my heart, that living by the Golden Rule, in the end, will always pay off? That's the hard one. There has been quite a few why's and what's coming out of my mouth lately.  "Why does this happen to me?"  "Why can't I seem to get it together to succeed?" "What have I done to deserve this?" "Why can't things ever go the way they are supposed to?" and so on and so forth.

Photo by FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The article answered those questions by going back to Job.  How no matter what happened, his integrity remained in tact, and he continued to stand up for his rights through it all.  As must we do.  Loosely translated it said, "Every day, man must stand up and fight against their own debasement. When it is at the darkest, we see it best.  In the night a new day is created."

I have learned not to ask "could it get any worse?" because time and time again, the answer has been a loud and clear "yes".  However, there is not a whole lot more walls to tear down around here, and I am praying that this is "the darkest".  It is time to create a new day.

Letting the Bitch Out

I try.  I really do try to be good and nice, do the right things, be a good role model for my kids, a good friend and all that. But seriously, sometimes I really just want to be like the B in Apartment 23.

Acting like Chloe in the TV show, with a whole lot more "me-attitude" than I have ever had, sounds quite nice actually. Maybe not as extreme as her, but it could certainly be refreshing to just do whatever I would like without having to worry about how it may affect anyone else.

Finagle my way around having to do housework or take care of any other responsibilities. Get what I wanted from people without having to give anything of myself.  Have what I want without really having to work for it; do what I want, when I want to...yep, I think I could get used to it.  So much so, that I actually gave some thought to what I would do if I just left my inner bitch in charge for a while.

Sadly (or maybe not), I don't have it in me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel.  If I ever have to confess to all the things I am not so proud of, the person listening better have some time on his hands. But my spouts of bitchiness never lasts long. Usually just long enough for me to do something stupid that Karma gets wind of, and smacks me upside the head with. Never works, which really tends to piss me off, because when I am nice; do what I am "supposed" to, and treat others like I want to be treated, there seems to be quite a few that stay out of Karma's radar....there should really be a report button.

Now that dropping the kids off at the dad's house with a "handle it" is not really an option; neither is my few week road trip all by myself (that is where the bitch inside was really going to get full control) to "find myself", nor my rather dark moment thoughts of messing with people's relationships because they just are not right for each other (who the hell am I to decide?) or any other great ideas stemming from the inner bitch.  I guess in the long run, being good and nice and all that, really is what pays off.  So on this Monday morning,  I'm giving it a new try. Here's to a great week!  Hopefully Karma is paying attention this time.

Missing Mom

As Mothers' Day is approaching, and we are bombarded with ads for flowers, and gifts, and spa treatments, and everything else under the sun that a mom might want, I find myself wishing I still had a mother to appreciate on that day.  Oh how I miss her!!

She has been gone for almost 10 years now, but every time I think of her, I find myself wishing I had shown her, and told her more often how much I loved her, and how much I truly appreciated everything she did for us. I still hope she knew.

Few women were as warmhearted and kind as my mom. As a nurse, she was well respected both among her coworkers and patients.  At her memorial service, one of the doctors revealed that patients felt so comfortable dealing with her, that if given the choice, they would rather confide in her and take her advice, than speaking to a doctor directly. She would go out of her way both professionally and personally to ensure people knew she cared.

 As a mother, she took her role even more serious.  We knew we were loved!! Money might have been tight, but we had everything we needed; most importantly, a tight knit family and lots of quality time with our parents. But she expected us to grow up as responsible, well behaved young ladies. Instead, she raised two very independent, strong headed girls who just wanted to do things our own way, and regarded her as the "uncool" mom for much longer than most. Although, she did remain the one we would seek advice from when things got a little tough.  I still wonder how she survived our teenage years.  As much as she denied it, I think she was happy we both chose to get our education too far away to remain living at home. But even then she was just a phone call away; ready to hear all about our day, tell us she missed us and give us updates on life at home.  All with that quiet, calm voice. How many times I have wished I inherited a bit more of her demeanor..

I think that is what I miss the most.  Her calmness, and her voice. She spoke so quietly. When we were home, my sister and I were the only two who could hear her, if she called us from the kitchen when we were on our way out the door. Our friends would look at us funny, as if we were hearing voices.  One friend once told me that when at the doctor's office, my mom was getting her ready, and asked my friend the standard questions, but with such a quiet voice, my friend stated "I leaned up and thought she was going to tell me a secret".  We teased her about that a million times, and also joked that the only reason she and my dad got along so well, was because he couldn't hear her half the time. 

As we grew to young adults, got married and settled down, she started bringing up the subject of grandchildren. She was so ready to  be a grandma! Unfortunately, none of her children were ready to be parents, so she had to wait quite a while. But when they finally arrived, they too got to experience her love for them. Her soothing voice, cuddling and playing with them, reading them stories and singing songs. You couldn't ask for a more perfect grandma!  Sadly, it only lasted a very short time, before she passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly. 

I was so angry when she died.  Angry at the paramedics who didn't revive her fast enough. Angry at the doctors who didn't heal her.  Angry at God for taking my mom away. Really?  Heaven was that short on angels? I stayed angry for quite long too.  So angry, I was of no support to anyone else around me who was also grieving the loss of her. Not at all what she would have wished for me to do,  but I couldn't help it.  I needed her, and she was no longer there. 

Even today, there are so many times I wish she was still here. But I have learned to cherish the memories of the years we had together, lessons taught and laughs shared. Although my children were too young to remember her, they too have learned to cherish her memory through my stories of how she loved them, and how much she adored spending time with them.  They look at pictures of themselves in her lap and know that she was the most special grandma they could have ever wished for, just as she was the best mother I could have ever wished for. Gone, but never forgotten!!

So on this Mothers' Day, if you are still lucky enough to have your mom in your life, show her, and tell her, how much you do love her!  You never know when it will  be too late.

Prince Charming...or his brother

You might be tired of me talking about dating, or severe lack thereof, failed internet dating attempts and so on; and if so, feel free to skip this post, because I'm at it again.

I have actually managed to go out on a few first dates...yeah, that's as far as it got.  Not that there was anything wrong with these guys. Quite contrary, I guess they could all be considered a catch. So why did it stop there?  No sparks.  Simple as that.

From joe-ks.com

Yes, I have passed 40, and yes, I realize that I am (or at least should be) looking for different qualities in a man than when I was a teenager.  I don't expect the whole fireworks, but I want sparks.  I want that instant attraction.  Not just to his looks, but to the whole man; his demeanor, intelligence, sense of humor and so on.  I want that butterfly feeling just by hearing his voice.   The problem seems to be finding all that I want in one man.

Recently I connected with one man who really does give me the butterfly feeling when I hear his voice.  Problem is, I have not actually met him.  And I keep making excuses... We get a long awfully good on the phone.  You know how some people makes your knees weak just by looking at you?  Same thing. This guy just has it in the voice; and what he says and how he says them, just makes it better.

So what could possibly be wrong?  Well, my fear is, that I won't like him in person.  Then what? My whole fantasy man would be ruined, and honestly, at this point, fantasy man is kind of nice to have. On the other hand, he could actually be everything I think he is...or want him to be.  Guess there is only one way to find out. So if on Monday you hear me talking about men never being what you expect them to be...well, then  I guess my expectations may have been too high.

Monday Morning...

I haven't had much to say lately; or I guess, more correctly, haven't had much I wished to share.  The past few weeks, I've let life's little crisis get in the way of most, spending more  time being annoyed at incompetent customer service representatives, angry at people for not living up to my expectations, doubting my own abilities and so on and so forth...no use in spewing out the negative crap, so I chose to be silent instead. But what is it they say?   

"It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." Epictetus  

That line has rung true for centuries, and still is.  It's all in the attitude. I know you have heard me say it before, but I guess I needed a reminder (read attitude adjustment!) myself.

Photo by Kangshutters/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some times life seems overbearing, but really, all one has to do is turn on the news to realize that things could be so much worse!  

My kids may  be loud and obnoxious, ungrateful at times, and definitely argumentative.  But they are alive and healthy, do well in school, have good friends, and I doubt, will ever be targeted as a "suspicious person" based on their looks by a neighborhood watch person, with the tragic consequences that has proven to have. I may not have a large family or a million friends, but my family is close; we all care about each others well being and enjoy each others company, and my friends I can count on to always be there for me when I need them as they can with me. I don't need to be Ms. Popular, I just need a few good women and men :-) I don't have the biggest house, but I have a place to call home. In these times, that should no longer be taken for granted.  

Yes, I want more out of life, and yes, I want to better myself and provide better for my children.  But in the mean time, I really try listening to my second favorite quote;  

"He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." Socrates

So here's to a happy Monday and a great week!!

9 Deadly Words Used by Women

I guess it's true.  We don't always say what we mean; or we mean something completely different than you think we do. So here to help the men decipher our "code", are nine deadly words and phrases used by women (study them!):

1. Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is a half hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes when you have been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 

3. Nothing This is the calm before the storm.  It means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing, usually end with fine. 

4. Go Ahead This is a dare, not a permission.  Don't do it!

5. Loud Sigh This is not actually a word,  but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. This means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

6. That's OK This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  This means  she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 

7. Thanks A woman is thanking you. Do not question (or faint). Just say "you're welcome". Do not make the mistake of confusing this with "Thanks a lot" - that is pure sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say "you're welcome". That will bring on a "whatever". 

8. Whatever A woman's way of saying F*ck You! (My favorite phrase by the way...)

9. Don't Worry About It, I Got It Another dangerous statement meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself.  This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong?"  For the woman's response, refer to #3.

Well there you have it.  To spread peace and happiness, please share with your male friends.

They're THAT Big?!?

Yet again, I had the pleasure of embarrassing the crap out of my kids. That is the one reward we get as parents living with preteens and teenagers.  No matter how hard you try, you will not be a cool parent, so might as well get the most joy out of the embarrassing moments. 

I am not a pet person.  God love the people who wants to fill their homes with cats and dogs and every other creature....and actually take care of them.  I, on the other hand, would like no more than a clean house that actually stayed clean for more than a half hour, where everything is in its place and there are no funky smells from anyone or anything living here.  My kids however, if allowed to, would have a dog, a cat, a hamster, a ferret, birds, mice, a turtle, an aquarium, and the list goes on and on....since I refuse to pay for any of it, and we have a severe lack of space for more than ourselves, the pet collection is so far pretty slim (Thank God!!). That doesn't stop them from wanting to visit the pet store every single day so they can plot and plan for their next buy.  

So the other day, we stopped in one of the pet supermarkets so they could "just take a quick look at the animals".  Generous as I am, I gave them five minutes to fill the pet void.  As I am wondering around looking at all the animals that I am so grateful are not living in my house, a rat caught my eye.  First I thought it was giving birth, so I call my son over to check this out.  Then I figured out nothing was actually coming out of his body, so I decided it must be sick....I mean, what is that thing?  After diagnosing the poor rat with cancer (what else would leave such a large lump?), I discovered one of the other rats had it too.  My poor son is trying to give me a better explanation, but oh no. I had to confirm my suspicion and called over one of the store clerks.  

She gave me a blank stare as I asked what was wrong with their bottoms...."uh, ma'am, that's a male...see there's two of those?  It's his testicles....."  Most would probably have turned away slightly embarrassed, but not me.  "What?!?  That's his testicles?  They're that big?  Geez, I thought it was a tumor..." I exclaimed loudly enough for the whole dog obedience class to hear behind me, and apparently peak some of their interest enough to have a look at the mega-size testicles too.  "Are they all like this?" I continued as I went from cage to cage to inspect the bottoms of the other rodents.  Apparently they were all female, or were at least not given balls the size of their heads... 

The store clerk had quickly removed herself from my side, and as I turned to make a comment to my kids about my discovery, I found, so had they.  Apparently discussing testicle sizes with their mom, is not a favorite subject for preteens. Who knew? I saw their heads bopping down behind the next row of shelves, and as I came around and informed them time was up, they scurried out the door before anyone else could see they were with me. I am thinking it will be a while before they decide to ask me to take them to the pet store again...hmm, what a loss...

I Love My Life!!

I found it!!  After dropping the kids off at school,  I heard this song from the car next to me at a red light.  Loved it!  So much that I "stalked" the car so I could finish hearing the song....with my beautiful morning look, I'm pretty sure she was getting a bit scared by the third verse, but I love the message.

So here it is.  I too love my life, with all it's obstacles and rewards, ups and downs. Memories created by both good and bad decisions. And of course, my friends and family - and more than anything, my children. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so listen and take it in.  Live your life today!

April Fools

A little late in the day, but better late than never...

It's always fun to fool somebody on this day, especially the kids.  I got them good last year when I told them their spring break got canceled because their cousin was sick...unfortunately the "April Fools" came a little too late, and both were crying their eyes out before I got that far.  I still got a good laugh, but somehow they didn't think it was so funny.  Then, as my son was in the bathroom, I screamed and yelled for him to "kill it!!!" acting like a big bug crawled under the door.  The other one, who did not see any bug, but knows how they freak me out, chimed in and screamed even louder than me.  Poor guy!  I opened the door, and he was sitting with both feet planted on top of the toilet seat while screaming and looking for the monster bug...they didn't find that one amusing either,  but again, I got a good laugh. 

Well, payback's a bitch! As we went out for a "family fun Sunday", we're driving along, talking and singing along to the radio and having a great time, when my son (with last year's April Fools fresh in mind) yells from the back seat - "OMG there's bug on your seat!"  

I may not have full blown entomophobia, but I scream like a school girl when I see bugs.  Yes, any bugs! Allowing the kids, against my better judgement, to eat in the car, I always bitch about the messes they make, and my standard statement is "This is like a feast for bugs, is that what you want? A bug infested car?" So of course there is no doubt in my mind, this actually happened, and I am envisioning bugs crawling out from every vent...eeewwww! With both of them yelling from the back seat, now informing me it crawled over the top of the seat, I am ready to jump out of a moving car.  I screamed, pulled the car in to the next side street and jumped out while yelling "where is it?  Did it get on me?" all while jumping up and down, brushing off my back and hair, and ready to tear off my shirt.  Then i hear the roaring laughter from the back seat...."April Fools!! Told you we'd get you back!"

They have no idea how close they got to be put up for adoption.....but oh, I will get them back!!  Muahahaha....

Employers Asking for Facebook Password from Potential Employees

What is happening in this country?  We went from adding employee rights, and increasing privacy laws, to now all of a sudden being faced with employers mingling not only in our sexual affairs by wanting to decide if our use of contraceptives are within their "moral standards", but potential employers also wanting full insight in our private lives by asking job seekers for their Facebook passwords?  Something is seriously wrong!

Photo by Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Since when did employers gain the right to know everything about us?  Since when did becoming an employee mean that our employers gained full insight in our private lives, our opinions, sense of humor, and our activities during non-working hours and weekends?  Enough already!

What's next?  They'll want our bank account log in to see how we manage our money?  Or our house keys, so they can go through our night stand?

I understand that social media has been a useful tool for employers in the hiring process.  But as more and more of us are using the privacy tools available, to avoid "outsiders" seeing what we post on our pages, our personal information and pictures, it does not open the door for potential employers to invade our privacy by asking for the log in information.  According to Huffington Post, Orin Kerr, a George Washington University professor of law, calls it “an egregious privacy violation” and compared it to asking for someone’s house keys. I couldn't agree more. You hire me to do a job. When I am there, you can tell me what to do and how to do it; but outside of work, the employer has a very limited say in how I lead my life!

Photo by Salvatore Vuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One thought that entered my mind, was that anyone who is willing to give up this information to a potential employer, does not value their privacy at all.  I would see it as a big negative, and would expect that employee to bring any and all issues from home to work; not exactly the perfect employee.  Also, if he/she was so easily convinced to give up his/her own password, how secure would any company passwords be after he/she was hired? 

If ever faced with this situation, I think my answer would be: "Certainly.  I understand you would like more information about me as a person to see that I am a good fit for this company.  Then you obviously understand that I too want to ensure that the people I will be working for, are decent, professional people. So as soon as you provide me the usernames and passwords for your and the other managers' accounts, I will be happy to provide you mine."

Considering your Facebook account requires a birth date, private email address etc. etc., even if it is not visible to friends, and many of us volunteer other information such as our religious and political beliefs. If one is not hired after providing the log in information, there is a perfect discrimination lawsuit, based on age, nationality, sexual preference, religious or political belief, or whatever you might find the reason to be.... after all, this is the land of the lawsuits!  Let the fun begin!

Living Life Without Excuses

Friday evening I was hanging out at a local bar having drinks with friends, and listening to a pretty good local band.  I tried my best to stay involved in the conversation at the table, but spent a fair amount of time text flirting with someone who obviously was not there, and picking on the people around me. 

Photo by Phanlop88/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One woman's feet were so funky, I wondered why on earth she was showing them off in open toe shoes when the weather was perfect for boots that would hide the fact her toes were going in every direction. Another one had on an outfit better fitted for a 22 year old, and I had a great deal of fun having my friends rate it on a scale from 1 to cougar. Lets not forget my comments about the fake boobs we bet on how many darts it would take to pop, or the poor man's sad choice of color combination....And so my night went on with my immature, not so nice, game. Picking on strangers didn't make me feel any better about myself, and I'm sure, if they had heard me, would probably hurt their feelings. So needless to say, not my proudest moment.  Neither was the text flirting, but it was all a great, well needed, little escape from reality, and (I hope) we didn't hurt anyone's feelings. 

Reality hit hard Saturday morning though,  as I sucked down three glasses of water, wondering what I was thinking staying out so late....some things apparently do change after 40.  My weekend to do list was long, and come Sunday, it still was.  We proved Saturday that you can successfully waste away a whole day doing absolutely nothing - and enjoy it!!  

Sunday morning, the house was still dusty; the laundry still in the hampers; the kitchen cabinets still had mismatched knobs, as I had only put on a couple of the new ones; I was nowhere closer to getting my taxes done; the reports I was working on were still as incomplete as they were Friday.  Oh well.  Armed with pizza, popcorn and soda, I thoroughly enjoyed my Saturday watching a Disney movie, then, after a nap, Bodyguard (in memory of Whitney of course!!), topped with a couple of hours of Friends reruns. Somewhere in there I read the first chapter of my new book, and made a couple of phone calls, but I don't think I left the sofa for anything other than getting more snacks in the kitchen and an occasional trip to the rest room.  It really was a beautiful day!  So then, why did I not feel any better when Sunday rolled around?

Photo by Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Well, my little escape from reality didn't quite change my reality.  I guess that kind of sums it up. It might have been fun while it lasted, but it certainly did not get me anywhere closer to accomplishing what I needed, and I pretty much wasted the rest of the weekend as a result. By the end of the weekend, my little inner voice was screaming "grow up". I guess it was right.  I have no intentions of giving up the little I have of social life outside of kids' activities, but truly, when the intention is to escape my life, rather than enjoy it, it's time for some serious adjustments. 

So here we go. Off to a new, fresh start. You can only make excuses for so long, before you realize that the only thing stopping you from accomplishing what you want and reaching your goals, is .... yep, the excuses.  

Romeo, O Romeo...

OK, so being single gets a little old some times.  Another weekend is here, and I have absolutely no plans, no invites and nothing on the calendar other than relaxing and hoping for nice weather.  So maybe it's time to be a little more bold in my approaches:

I put this on my car, in hopes of some takers....

Posted this on a couple of Facebook walls,










and spiced up the wardrobe.  Hoping this weekend brings a bit of excitements :-)

Girl Power!

Happy International Women's Day!!

On this day, let's forget about morons like Rush Limbaugh and his likes who label women "sluts" if they wish to ensure birth control is available to every woman (then proceed to ask them to videotape themselves having sex for his own viewing pleasure...really?!?). 

On this day, let's laugh at Madhouse's label which stated "Give laundry to your woman, it's her job", and any other such attempts at "putting women back in their place".  Why sweat the small stuff?

But on this day, let's not forget that 70% of the world's poorest are women.  Let's not forget that they produce more than 50% of all food, do more than two thirds of the world's unpaid work, but only receive 10% of all income, and own less than 1% of all property.  That in several countries, women still lack the right to own property, or get a proper education. Source: www.womenfightpoverty.org

Celebrating International Women's Day is no more acknowledging that every other day is for men, than celebrating Mothers' Day is acknowledging that every other day is for fathers.  Celebrating International Women's Day allows us to put much needed focus on issues women are facing all over the world. Or as a friend said (much better than I could come up with myself!); 

Focusing on women's issues, is focusing on human issues, and is all about showing manners globally.

So embrace your feminism, your strength and uniqueness.  Alone you are great, together we are awesome!

Teen Is Well Paid for Cleaning His Room

Last week, I was laughing at this Facebook post where a mother posted a note stating she had hid $100,- in the room, and for the kids to clean the room to find it. Brilliant, I thought!  I will definitely try that one at my house.  However, for Ryan Kitchin of Scotland, the reward proved to be much greater.

Photo by FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When the 19-year old finally listened to his mother and cleaned his room, he found not only dirty socks, but several lottery tickets. Luckily he did not throw the tickets out, but brought them to work to check the numbers. And what do you know? Young Kitchin had picked the right combination for the February 8 drawing, rendering him the winner of £52,981, or $83,781...  I really wish that would happen when I clean the house!!

So what is he planning on doing with the money?  According to msnbc.com,   Kitchin is paying off his car, and....aaawww, taking his mom on a much needed vacation!  Mr. Nice Guy for sure!!  I am making sure my son hears this story, so he knows what to do, should this ever happen to him too :-)

Leap Year

Wishing all leaplings a very Happy Birthday!  May your day be filled with joy!

Photo by Digitalart/Freedigitalphotos.net

To all women who will use "their right" this special day to propose to their men, may there be a beautiful engagement ring on your finger at the end of the day, rather than a glove!

For the rest of you, enjoy your Wednesday!  Weekend is right around the corner!