Serial Dater

I did it!  I know I swore I never would, but I signed up for internet dating.... Here's how it happened; 

I was reading my love horoscope for 2012, thinking my love life was lacking so badly in 2011, it must get better this year.  It said "you will date several men this year, one of whom will not be right for you". OK, I thought, and where am I supposed to meet these men? And wait?! Only one is not right for me?  So I get to pick and choose?  Having just talked to my girlfriend, who is happily engaged to the man she met online, and who tells me one in four new relationships are now formed online, I got curious.  So I went on one of the sites to "spy". To my surprise, there are some quite handsome men on these sites, most of whom also seem to have both brains and personality. One in particular caught my attention, so I signed up just to be able to send him a message....hey, it was free, and he was really cute!

What happened next was a little unexpected.  24 hours later, not only the one I contacted, but another 46 men had sent me a message, including one inviting me to Vegas to get married by Elvis. Needless to say I had quite the boast in confidence :-) At least until I read the messages. One was 19 and "liked older women", one was 58 and although seemingly quite interesting - a little out of my dating range.  Most were shorter than me (and for the first few hours, they all were, since I entered 6'3" as my height, thinking it was the ideal height I was looking for...).  I finally saw where I could set restrictions on whom I wanted to be contacted by (and fixed my height!), and am amazed that I am still receiving messages after all the restrictions I put in (now we're getting somewhere).

Then I politely started answering messages.  But  I was really just interested in the guy I contacted, and I never intended to spend hours writing men I have no interest in meeting (and why did I sign up then, you ask...?), so I set some new standards. If their profile did not specify they expected an answer, or they asked for one in their message, if the message was a one liner, or their profile picture was without a shirt (I didn't even bother to read their profiles...) - no response.  Much quicker to just delete. For the rest, with exception of very few, I'm becoming a master in politely turning down requests to get to know me. 

When I was finally done, I checked my emails, just to find one from the dating site with tips on how to improve my profile so I would get a better response...

By now, I have obviously read a multitude of profiles. What I find most interesting, is how people describe themselves. What a tell-tale of how they feel about themselves, and what they think the opposite sex is looking for.  I checked out some women's profiles too, just to see what we say...and apparently we all "see the glass as half full", can take care of ourselves, and have our lives in order. Men love to point out they can cook, but I didn't see a single one who likes to clean and do laundry (that would be the ideal candidate!!), and they are all looking for drama-free women.  Hello!  I can be THE Drama-Queen, MRS. Bitch and so on, and 47 of them contacted me, like I will actually admit to that in my profile(?!).

Then there was the one comment I found odd.  This man was not interested in meeting a "serial-dater". Really?  He signed up for a dating site.  It is a little like a buffet....try a little of everything until you find what you really like.  If I can just find the time, I am most certainly going to be the new "serial dater" in town. Get ready Cupid, you'll be busy! Fulfilling my horoscope for the year, I intend to have the dating of "several men" out of the way in the beginning of the year (did I mention I am goal oriented?), starting with a home cooked meal tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Dating Site Spends $100,000 to Remove 30,000 "Ugly" Members

As internet dating continues to gain popularity, some sites apparently see it fit to make their member list more exclusive, whether it be for income levels, education, religion, age or looks.  

BeautifulPeople.com is one, where members ruthlessly select new members and exclude those who do not match their definition of beautiful. However, Guardian reports, that last month, they were attacked by a virus, Shrek, that allowed 30,000 new members to gain access that otherwise would not have met their beauty requirements. 

A little harsh, but says Greg Hodge, managing director of BeautifulPeople.com "We have to stick to our founding principles of only accepting beautiful people – that's what our members have paid for. We can't just sweep 30,000 ugly people under the carpet."  Are you rolling your eyes right along with me? 

Sadly, this is not the first time they have pushed their beauty requirements.  Last year, they cut another 5,000 members who appeared to have put on weight during Christmas. Again, rolling my eyes!!  And how would they know? Do they have to post updated pictures weekly?

I find the whole site laughable, because it speaks volumes of the values of its members.  Don't get me wrong, I too find looks important. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I truly find that someones personality and values adds or deducts from his/her attractiveness. Even so, I still feel sorry for the members who were booted off the site.  Or to quote Hodge again, "for the unfortunate people who were wrongly admitted to the site and believed, albeit for a short time, that they were beautiful".

Guess I'm also cheering for the ones trying to get back on the site.  Rachel Godfrey, a 31-year-old Australian nanny living in LA, said she received an email telling her she was rejected two weeks after being accepted. "I was getting on really well with this American guy and we were going to go on a date and then they said I'd been chucked off and they locked me out of the site," she said. "Now I can't get in touch with him."

Godfrey said she is planning to have a makeover and professional photo shoot before reapplying to the website. "What if he's the one? This is only way I'll be able to get in touch with him," she said. "If that doesn't work I'll see what I can do with Photoshop."  You go girl!  Post those pictures that look nothing like yourself.  Especially during Christmas.

Contemplating trying internet dating?  Not so beautiful?  Then an alternative is the NotSoBeautifulPeople.com , "a dating community of average folks, a place where you can relax, be yourself and never worry about being judged by the hot people." Or you can do like me and stick to meeting people the good old fashioned way...

Internet dating? No thank you!!

I know I mentioned this before, but this is why internet dating is not for me. Nobody tells the truth!!

Time crunch

It's finally time to sit down and relax a little.  Busy, busy, busy!  Work is busy, the kids are in a million activities, and there is all that holiday stuff to get ready.  I'm pooped!  This is probably not the best time to try to reinvent myself.  I might have to wait till next year.  When I think about it, I might have to wait a few years.  Being a single mom, finding time to meet someone, and then actually dating doesn't quite fit into my schedule. That's a slight little hickup in my plan.

Yes, I have kids, or as my friend's mom put it: "You have to remember you have a couple of handicaps now".  Well, I love my "handicaps", and they will come first. We're past the spit up and other odd stains on my clothes, jamming to Barney music in the car (which by the way is very uncool when the kids are not in the car...), and having to help with every aspect of their day. Instead we've moved on to taxi-mom, endless invitations to sleepovers, play dates and parties, and activities most days of the week. And then I wonder how I ended up in Hagville...

Internet dating might not be such a bad idea after all.  I could find someone on the West Coast that is still awake when I finally sit down at the end of the day. I am THE least photogenic person, but I'm sure I can find a picture where I look somewhat OK, and whomever I meet online doesn't have to see me - phone conversations are just fine; no need for Skype or any other virtual interaction.  Hmmm, might have to give that some thought. 

OK, done - not happening.  I am determined to meet someone the old fashioned way, "handicaps" or not.