I don't mind that other women are happily married. But is is necessary to rub it in?
I went to a meeting for one of my children's activities, run by a married couple. They're both very nice, but the wife apparently can never remember her husband's name. For half an hour I listened to her speak, and every time she mentioned something he is responsible for, owns or is involved in, it was the "my husband" this and "my husband" that. Not once did she say his name, he or his or any other possible description.
As I was getting more and more aware of her "my husband" and feeling that she was just rubbing it in to the rest of us that don't have a husband, a boyfriend, or are barely dating, I just wanted to scream: "His name is Fred! Use the poor man's name! We know he is your husband. None of us want him, he is all yours, but for God's sake, his name is Fred!"
Fortunately for once, I thought before speaking, and remained silent. They already think I'm kind of weird, I guess I didn't need to confirm it.
Instead I started picking the happy married couple apart. In my mind, of course. But after finding all their faults; she is fat, has no fashion sense, needs new skin care - and please put on some make up! And she tells really bad jokes. He is way too skinny, needs a haircut badly, and really needs new pants that actually covers his ankles. Then I imagined them having a nice romantic dinner at home - her eating all the food and him getting just a little portion on his plate; just enough to keep him going. Add a couple of bottles of wine, and voila, there's a comedy show in the making - at least in my mind.
My imagination took off a little, and I found it so funny I started giggling out loud. All of a sudden, I had the eyes of the whole group on me. Apparently it was really bad timing for my giggling session. "No ma'am, I agree, there is nothing funny about sexual predators."
So much for not confirming weird...
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Photo Shoot
I don't know what I was thinking. For my Facebook account, I have yet to get a presentable picture, but somehow I thought that today was the day. Yeah, that was a real pick-me-upper - NOT!
How is it possible to take 22 pictures and not have a single one turn out even close to decent? I looked at myself in the mirror prior to taking these, and I did not look like that! If not everybody else's pictures turned out so nicely, I would return the damn camera for only capturing ugly!
I looked through the the instructions, but there were no settings that specifically stated elimates wrinkles and makes a smirk look like a great smile....maybe it's time for some of these camera stores to not only offer classes on how to take good pictures, but also on how to be in one without showing all your worst features. I really need that class!
Im going to the bathroom now to look in the mirror again - because either it or the camera is lying!! I really hope it is the latter.
How is it possible to take 22 pictures and not have a single one turn out even close to decent? I looked at myself in the mirror prior to taking these, and I did not look like that! If not everybody else's pictures turned out so nicely, I would return the damn camera for only capturing ugly!
I looked through the the instructions, but there were no settings that specifically stated elimates wrinkles and makes a smirk look like a great smile....maybe it's time for some of these camera stores to not only offer classes on how to take good pictures, but also on how to be in one without showing all your worst features. I really need that class!
Im going to the bathroom now to look in the mirror again - because either it or the camera is lying!! I really hope it is the latter.
Our World
I have spent my morning looking at different news sites searching for something to be opinionated about today. There is just too much bad stuff going on, and too many sad stories. I don't feel like being sad, so instead, let's talk about how lucky we are to be born in the Western World!
Here in the good ol' USA, as a woman, I have all the choices I want. Yes, I agree, the corporate world is still to a large extent ruled by the middle aged men, and women tend to have to work harder and show better results to move up the corporate ladder. Nonetheless, the opportunities are all here.
Here I am free. I make my own choices. Nobody owns me - even with the horrific history of slavery, the idea of human beings as a commodity died with the end of slavery. Not so in too many places still. Every time I think of what women in the Middle East, certain parts of Asia and Africa has to endure, I count my blessings for being born in a Western country.
Even in today's world, countless girls and women in Africa are being mutilated so they will be "pure" resulting in lifelong pain. Girls are being attacked with acid - for getting an education. Educated women in Iran, are being reduced to beggars if they lose their husbands, since they are not allowed to work. Not to make this in to a man-bashing session, but who came up with all these idiotic ideas? Oh yeah, men who are afraid they would lose their power if women were given equal, or any rights.
OK, now I feel like standing up on my soap box, so it is probably time to stop. To all the women in the Western World - count your blessings! I hope that in my lifetime, we will see an uprising of the suppressed women of the world, and support from all the decent men who know what is happening today is wrong, to ensure these women too can enjoy the freedom and choices that we have!
Here in the good ol' USA, as a woman, I have all the choices I want. Yes, I agree, the corporate world is still to a large extent ruled by the middle aged men, and women tend to have to work harder and show better results to move up the corporate ladder. Nonetheless, the opportunities are all here.
Here I am free. I make my own choices. Nobody owns me - even with the horrific history of slavery, the idea of human beings as a commodity died with the end of slavery. Not so in too many places still. Every time I think of what women in the Middle East, certain parts of Asia and Africa has to endure, I count my blessings for being born in a Western country.
Even in today's world, countless girls and women in Africa are being mutilated so they will be "pure" resulting in lifelong pain. Girls are being attacked with acid - for getting an education. Educated women in Iran, are being reduced to beggars if they lose their husbands, since they are not allowed to work. Not to make this in to a man-bashing session, but who came up with all these idiotic ideas? Oh yeah, men who are afraid they would lose their power if women were given equal, or any rights.
OK, now I feel like standing up on my soap box, so it is probably time to stop. To all the women in the Western World - count your blessings! I hope that in my lifetime, we will see an uprising of the suppressed women of the world, and support from all the decent men who know what is happening today is wrong, to ensure these women too can enjoy the freedom and choices that we have!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Relationships and Satisfying Women
According to Chris Rock, one of my favourite comedians, we are not so easy to satisfy. Enjoy!
warning: as always, Mr. Rock uses a bit explicit language.
warning: as always, Mr. Rock uses a bit explicit language.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Teen Relationship Abuse
This was shocking to me, but according to Yahoo News one in five teens are in relationships where they are physically abused by their partner. One in five!! And these are teenagers. Where did we go wrong?
Not all abusers are men, or in this instance, boys, but the statistics clearly show they are the majority. Where did they learn that it is OK to hit, slap or otherwise abuse their girlfriends? These statistics are sickening to me. As much focus as there has been on abuse the last few years, how can it be that 20% of dating teenagers still abuse their girlfriends?
After Rhianna so bravely told her story of being beaten by Chris Brown, I had hoped that more teenagers would look to her as a good example. That doesn't seem to have happened.
Obviously we have not only failed miserably in teaching the boys proper manners, but we have completely failed in teaching these girls self worth. I am not so blue eyed that I don't believe a fight between a boy- and girlfriend can escalate to become physical; although, I truly believe that it should never happen. But I do not understand why these girls think they have to stick around for more. Every girl should know that she deserves the best - and that does not include being beaten or abused psychologically. If she was unfortunate to end up in such a situation once; leave! Don't allow it to ever happen again!
Back in the days when I was 16, I dated a boy, who turned out to be a complete freak. Although he never physically hurt me, he was always playing mind games, and to a large extent, taking "ownership" of all my time. The whole break up was a weird session in itself, and he begged me to come back to him. Luckily I refused. However, the following weekend, he showed up at the party where I was. He was drunk as can be, and again begging me to come back to him. This time, when I refused, he pulled out a knife and threatened to kill himself. Normally, I would think, it would be easy to disarm a person that intoxicated; however, he also had a black belt in karate, so nobody was willing to take the chance of getting a good beating or getting stabbed. We ended up getting a hold of his brother, also with a black belt, who got the knife from him and calmed him down. By then, I of course was hysterical, but I will never forget his brother walking up to me and looking me straight in the eyes as he said: "You know this is all your fault. If you would just love him, this would have never happened!" If I was insecure in any way, I probably would have gone back to him. I would probably have felt responsible for the whole episode, as well as his ongoing well being. But bless my parents; they did a good job! Instead I looked his brother right back in the eyes and told him it was not my fault their whole family were freaks, turned my back and went back to the party, and never spoke to either of them again.
I didn't stop there though, but managed to make more bad relationship decisions in my life, and have on a couple of occasions ended up with black eyes. But I have never accepted it! Despite the incredible shame one feels as the victim in such a situation, I filed charges against the man (this was prior to the police being able to file the charges without the victim's consent), and demanded punishment. Not once have I ever stopped believing that I deserve the best!
I hope that as my children grow into their teens, that they too are secure enough in themselves to not accept anything but the best. That they treat others with respect, and don't allow anyone to treat them otherwise. I certainly hope that by then , these statistics have changed drastically for the better!
Not all abusers are men, or in this instance, boys, but the statistics clearly show they are the majority. Where did they learn that it is OK to hit, slap or otherwise abuse their girlfriends? These statistics are sickening to me. As much focus as there has been on abuse the last few years, how can it be that 20% of dating teenagers still abuse their girlfriends?
After Rhianna so bravely told her story of being beaten by Chris Brown, I had hoped that more teenagers would look to her as a good example. That doesn't seem to have happened.
Obviously we have not only failed miserably in teaching the boys proper manners, but we have completely failed in teaching these girls self worth. I am not so blue eyed that I don't believe a fight between a boy- and girlfriend can escalate to become physical; although, I truly believe that it should never happen. But I do not understand why these girls think they have to stick around for more. Every girl should know that she deserves the best - and that does not include being beaten or abused psychologically. If she was unfortunate to end up in such a situation once; leave! Don't allow it to ever happen again!
Back in the days when I was 16, I dated a boy, who turned out to be a complete freak. Although he never physically hurt me, he was always playing mind games, and to a large extent, taking "ownership" of all my time. The whole break up was a weird session in itself, and he begged me to come back to him. Luckily I refused. However, the following weekend, he showed up at the party where I was. He was drunk as can be, and again begging me to come back to him. This time, when I refused, he pulled out a knife and threatened to kill himself. Normally, I would think, it would be easy to disarm a person that intoxicated; however, he also had a black belt in karate, so nobody was willing to take the chance of getting a good beating or getting stabbed. We ended up getting a hold of his brother, also with a black belt, who got the knife from him and calmed him down. By then, I of course was hysterical, but I will never forget his brother walking up to me and looking me straight in the eyes as he said: "You know this is all your fault. If you would just love him, this would have never happened!" If I was insecure in any way, I probably would have gone back to him. I would probably have felt responsible for the whole episode, as well as his ongoing well being. But bless my parents; they did a good job! Instead I looked his brother right back in the eyes and told him it was not my fault their whole family were freaks, turned my back and went back to the party, and never spoke to either of them again.
I didn't stop there though, but managed to make more bad relationship decisions in my life, and have on a couple of occasions ended up with black eyes. But I have never accepted it! Despite the incredible shame one feels as the victim in such a situation, I filed charges against the man (this was prior to the police being able to file the charges without the victim's consent), and demanded punishment. Not once have I ever stopped believing that I deserve the best!
I hope that as my children grow into their teens, that they too are secure enough in themselves to not accept anything but the best. That they treat others with respect, and don't allow anyone to treat them otherwise. I certainly hope that by then , these statistics have changed drastically for the better!
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