Thank You!

A big Thank You to those who served our country, both present and past. 

All gave a little, some gave all.

Wishing you all a safe and happy Memorial Day!

Is 40 too Late to Reinvent Yourself?

Photo by FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I love listening to children speak about all they are going to be and do when they grow up. They're going to be doctors and lawyers, superstars, Olympic champions, NFL and NBA players; they're going to climb the highest mountain, invent the coolest stuff, be the toughest soldier that ever lived.  They're going to live in the nicest house, have the fastest car, go on awesome vacations - and nothing is going to stop them.

On the quite opposite side is the 40+ crowd who show up for work each morning, hang out at the coffee machine to complain about their boss, a client or a coworker, or share more bad news about their personal lives.  The ones that seem to have a really pitiful life that they don't see any chance of ever changing, and who within a few minutes will manage to kill any hope you may have had of having a great day at work. 

The big difference?  Children have dreams.  The other crowd think it's too late to do anything about their miserable situation. They have given up, accepted their "destiny", and just go through the motions hoping they will make it to retirement so they can spend a few more years complaining before they die.  Luckily not everyone gives up.

Nobody is more refreshing, than someone who has something good to say about anyone, who despite going through hard times, finds something to be thankful for, and who sees the good in every situation.  I am not talking about the annoyingly, overly perky person, but rather that good to the bone, sincere one.  Those who make strangers feel welcome, and just spread joy with their attitude and gratitude.  I love those people!  That's who did not stop dreaming!  That is who I want to be.

I get up in the morning thinking today is a new chance to make good changes to my life. Today I have another chance to right some of the wrongs in my life, and take another step towards where I want to be. But I have learned not everyone does the same.  Apparently many think that because I have passed 40, it is time to "settle".  Settle for what?  Misery and mediocracy?  To many, having worked for so long in the same career, is the reason you should continue doing it.  Especially when you have passed 40. But I have to continue working for quite a few years still. Retirement is not right around the corner, so why on earth would I want to continue doing something that makes me miserable for that much longer?  With that attitude, I should have stayed in a bad marriage too - then my misery could have been complete. I could have joined the complainers in the break room and we could have had our daily pity party and just set the tone for the day....every miserable day....for the rest of my working life. I don't think so.  I refuse!

Instead I will continue to dream.  I will continue to think that I can do everything I set my mind to - even when there seems to be an enormous amount of obstacles to overcome and very little progress.  I will feed in to my kids' optimistic views of their futures and all that they are going to accomplish and list my dreams and goals right along with theirs.

And who really decided that forty-something is old?  We're barely halfway through our working years.  There is still time to become whatever one wants to; maybe with exception of supermodel and pop-star, but who knows, singing grandma's seem to be on the rise...

Jokes aside. Looking back at the first half of my own life, I realize I made a lot of mistakes; some worse than others, some that had a bigger impact than others, but making bad decisions in my younger years, does not mean I should spend the second half of my life just accepting that "this is the way it is". Instead, I will take advantage of every opportunity to make my life what I want it to be. Just to be clear, this is me growing up, and taking charge of my life.  Not me having a meltdown because I passed 40.  I have realized that life is too short to just go through the motions, that time is precious, and that I really should make the most of my life.

 I probably; no,  I guarantee I will make many more mistakes, but as long as I don't let that stop me, that is OK. The one thing I do not want, is to look  back at my life and regret that I let chances pass by, because I was too old to give it a try. To hell with that. I may fail miserably, but at least I gave it a shot. We live and learn, and mistakes usually makes the best stories. During my golden years, I want to be the one with the best stories!!

Obama's Political Gamble

I think the news of President Obama fully endorsing gay marriage, and thus showing that he believes every American should have the right to marry their partner, is great. However, where gay marriage is no longer an issue in many other western countries, it may not be the smartest political move in America. Time will show. 

Most certainly, he has guaranteed that social issues will be a part of the political campaign going forward. An honestly, I think we should all welcome that.  With such blatant attacks on established women's rights as we have seen this year, I love that this is now an added issue for the politicians to discuss and defend or oppose.  

If you have followed my blog, you probably know by now that I am a liberal to the core.  That doesn't mean I think anyone should just be given handouts without having to contribute. No, quite contrary, I believe that we all have the ability to work as hard as we need to, to take care of ourselves. However, the last few years have not been easy for many. And where we have bailed out banks and automobile companies, I certainly also think that individuals needs to be extended the same courtesy - obviously within given criteria.  In a rich (and even a not so rich) society, I believe we need to learn to take care of each other.  Healthcare and handouts aside though, the very least we all should have, in my opinion, are equal rights.  Marriage included.  Someone said, "If you oppose gay marriage, tell straight people to stop having gay kids".  And really, what is it that is so scary about allowing two people who love each other to get married? 

A friend of mine posted about this on his Facebook page, and I thought he said it much better than I could, so let me end with his words: 

"What I think Obama *should* say on gay marriage: This is a moot argument. Marriage is a religious institution, and we have separations of church and state for very good reasons. If a church doesn't want to marry a gay couple, that's their prerogative. You should try to find a church that does. But the state shall not and will not discriminate against someone because of whom they choose to cohabit. Civil union partners are spouses and they deserve the opportunity to share in whatever benefits we provide to "married" couples. It's not a matter of being for or against someone making a commitment, it's about defending the rights of every American to enjoy every opportunity this great country provides."

Missing Mom

As Mothers' Day is approaching, and we are bombarded with ads for flowers, and gifts, and spa treatments, and everything else under the sun that a mom might want, I find myself wishing I still had a mother to appreciate on that day.  Oh how I miss her!!

She has been gone for almost 10 years now, but every time I think of her, I find myself wishing I had shown her, and told her more often how much I loved her, and how much I truly appreciated everything she did for us. I still hope she knew.

Few women were as warmhearted and kind as my mom. As a nurse, she was well respected both among her coworkers and patients.  At her memorial service, one of the doctors revealed that patients felt so comfortable dealing with her, that if given the choice, they would rather confide in her and take her advice, than speaking to a doctor directly. She would go out of her way both professionally and personally to ensure people knew she cared.

 As a mother, she took her role even more serious.  We knew we were loved!! Money might have been tight, but we had everything we needed; most importantly, a tight knit family and lots of quality time with our parents. But she expected us to grow up as responsible, well behaved young ladies. Instead, she raised two very independent, strong headed girls who just wanted to do things our own way, and regarded her as the "uncool" mom for much longer than most. Although, she did remain the one we would seek advice from when things got a little tough.  I still wonder how she survived our teenage years.  As much as she denied it, I think she was happy we both chose to get our education too far away to remain living at home. But even then she was just a phone call away; ready to hear all about our day, tell us she missed us and give us updates on life at home.  All with that quiet, calm voice. How many times I have wished I inherited a bit more of her demeanor..

I think that is what I miss the most.  Her calmness, and her voice. She spoke so quietly. When we were home, my sister and I were the only two who could hear her, if she called us from the kitchen when we were on our way out the door. Our friends would look at us funny, as if we were hearing voices.  One friend once told me that when at the doctor's office, my mom was getting her ready, and asked my friend the standard questions, but with such a quiet voice, my friend stated "I leaned up and thought she was going to tell me a secret".  We teased her about that a million times, and also joked that the only reason she and my dad got along so well, was because he couldn't hear her half the time. 

As we grew to young adults, got married and settled down, she started bringing up the subject of grandchildren. She was so ready to  be a grandma! Unfortunately, none of her children were ready to be parents, so she had to wait quite a while. But when they finally arrived, they too got to experience her love for them. Her soothing voice, cuddling and playing with them, reading them stories and singing songs. You couldn't ask for a more perfect grandma!  Sadly, it only lasted a very short time, before she passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly. 

I was so angry when she died.  Angry at the paramedics who didn't revive her fast enough. Angry at the doctors who didn't heal her.  Angry at God for taking my mom away. Really?  Heaven was that short on angels? I stayed angry for quite long too.  So angry, I was of no support to anyone else around me who was also grieving the loss of her. Not at all what she would have wished for me to do,  but I couldn't help it.  I needed her, and she was no longer there. 

Even today, there are so many times I wish she was still here. But I have learned to cherish the memories of the years we had together, lessons taught and laughs shared. Although my children were too young to remember her, they too have learned to cherish her memory through my stories of how she loved them, and how much she adored spending time with them.  They look at pictures of themselves in her lap and know that she was the most special grandma they could have ever wished for, just as she was the best mother I could have ever wished for. Gone, but never forgotten!!

So on this Mothers' Day, if you are still lucky enough to have your mom in your life, show her, and tell her, how much you do love her!  You never know when it will  be too late.

Judge Rotenberg Educational Center: Please Stop Painful Electric Shocks on Your Students

I had no idea this kind of treatment still went on in this country, and feel compelled to share this petition.  There must be better ways to deal with children with special needs.  Seriously!  It is 2012. There must be better ways!  If my child was treated like this in school, I would sue the school district broke!!  So why should it be any different for a special needs child?

I hope you will view the video and sign the petition for this to end now.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

This is always a fun day! Break out the Corona and tequila and party on.... but before you do, see if you know more about the reason behind the celebration than I did (trust me, it wouldn't take much...)

Some fun facts from MSN. Click here for the quiz.

Have fun, be safe!

Prince Charming...or his brother

You might be tired of me talking about dating, or severe lack thereof, failed internet dating attempts and so on; and if so, feel free to skip this post, because I'm at it again.

I have actually managed to go out on a few first dates...yeah, that's as far as it got.  Not that there was anything wrong with these guys. Quite contrary, I guess they could all be considered a catch. So why did it stop there?  No sparks.  Simple as that.

From joe-ks.com

Yes, I have passed 40, and yes, I realize that I am (or at least should be) looking for different qualities in a man than when I was a teenager.  I don't expect the whole fireworks, but I want sparks.  I want that instant attraction.  Not just to his looks, but to the whole man; his demeanor, intelligence, sense of humor and so on.  I want that butterfly feeling just by hearing his voice.   The problem seems to be finding all that I want in one man.

Recently I connected with one man who really does give me the butterfly feeling when I hear his voice.  Problem is, I have not actually met him.  And I keep making excuses... We get a long awfully good on the phone.  You know how some people makes your knees weak just by looking at you?  Same thing. This guy just has it in the voice; and what he says and how he says them, just makes it better.

So what could possibly be wrong?  Well, my fear is, that I won't like him in person.  Then what? My whole fantasy man would be ruined, and honestly, at this point, fantasy man is kind of nice to have. On the other hand, he could actually be everything I think he is...or want him to be.  Guess there is only one way to find out. So if on Monday you hear me talking about men never being what you expect them to be...well, then  I guess my expectations may have been too high.