Monday, January 31, 2011
40 is the new 20
No reason to frown over my age, according to the Today Show. 40 is the new 20 and we are fabulous!! I knew it! No reason to dress "my age" and look all frumpy when I can dress like a teenager, go clubbing and compete with the barely-old-enough-to-be-there girls....OK, dream on! But the thought is good, and now I don't feel quite so old.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I don't care that I am not rich and famous, hold a important position in large corporation or otherwise have a big impact on the outcome of today's worldly activities. I am happy being who I am. I make decent wages, I am a good mother, I am a good friend, sister and daughter (still struggling a bit with the "good girlfriend", but we'll get there).. I am lucky to have great friends and family, and although more money would always be welcome; power or fame is not something that appeals to me.
However, I do expect to be respected for who I am and what I do. I am too old to take people's crap because they think I should! I was born with a big mouth, so when I think about it, I have never really been good at taking any one's crap.
Ask nicely, and I will help you. Show some empathy for others, and I will be understanding of your difficulties. Listen to other people's thoughts and ideas, and I will hear what you have to say. Treat me good, and I will work hard for you. But I refuse to be any body's scapegoat, to be talked down to or bossed around. I will not do an ounce of work for any ass who thinks "they're all that" because of a title.
Some of the most gracious people I have met in my life have been the higher ups in large corporation. They all had two things in common - they had high expectations of themselves and all who worked with or for them, but they also made people around them feel capable and empowered. Isn't that a funny thing?
So I'm not exactly looking for the same respect as Aretha was, but felt the need to spell out the word nonetheless. I said before that respect is earned, and that is true for ourselves too. Respect yourself and live up to your own expectations, and the respect of others will soon follow.
However, I do expect to be respected for who I am and what I do. I am too old to take people's crap because they think I should! I was born with a big mouth, so when I think about it, I have never really been good at taking any one's crap.
Ask nicely, and I will help you. Show some empathy for others, and I will be understanding of your difficulties. Listen to other people's thoughts and ideas, and I will hear what you have to say. Treat me good, and I will work hard for you. But I refuse to be any body's scapegoat, to be talked down to or bossed around. I will not do an ounce of work for any ass who thinks "they're all that" because of a title.
Some of the most gracious people I have met in my life have been the higher ups in large corporation. They all had two things in common - they had high expectations of themselves and all who worked with or for them, but they also made people around them feel capable and empowered. Isn't that a funny thing?
So I'm not exactly looking for the same respect as Aretha was, but felt the need to spell out the word nonetheless. I said before that respect is earned, and that is true for ourselves too. Respect yourself and live up to your own expectations, and the respect of others will soon follow.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Super Mom
The other night I watched 20/20's series about Homeless Teenagers. If you haven't seen this, it is worth watching. My heart breaks watching these four kids try to be adults, all while dealing with more baggage than anyone should ever have to. Be their own parent, raise themselves and take full responsibility for their lives. I wish I could have 5 minutes in a room with each one of their parents just to unload and tell them what horrible people they are!!
None of us are perfect parents. We all make mistakes, say things we know we shouldn't, do things that probably does not always gain our children, and I suspect, never have enough time for them. But we try. My kids know there is no one who loves them more than I do. They know I will keep them safe, fed and clothed. They know they have rules to follow and limits on what they are allowed to do and watch because some things are not for children. They know that I expect them to always do their best in school and in all their activities (no I am not Chinese, but I do believe children need to be pushed to reach their full potential). They know that I will listen to their input (read arguments), but that I as their parent, have the final say, because I am the adult. So with all my faults, my children are still blossoming into wonderful preteens. Question is, will we survive the teenage years?
I am pretty certain they will turn out OK. There is nothing they could ever do, that would make me stop loving them. Nor anything that would make me even consider putting them on a bus to nowhere. What is wrong with people who expect young children to care for themselves? I understand that teens can be difficult; that some get caught up in drugs and violence. But if that happens, get help! Kicking them out on the street cannot ever be the solution, can it? I am not one who thinks it's OK to make excuses for kids' behaviour. They need to learn responsibility, and that means accepting the consequences for their own actions. I do however believe strongly that if a child is taught young what is right and wrong, along with respect for one self and others, and that it is OK to say no (just not to doing chores...) - it goes a long way. But in my opinion, most important in a child's life, is knowing that she is loved, and that a parent's love is unconditional.
It is easy to make a child, but to bring up a secure, healthy and happy child is a lifelong job, and the toughest one we can get. Luckily it is also the most rewarding!
None of us are perfect parents. We all make mistakes, say things we know we shouldn't, do things that probably does not always gain our children, and I suspect, never have enough time for them. But we try. My kids know there is no one who loves them more than I do. They know I will keep them safe, fed and clothed. They know they have rules to follow and limits on what they are allowed to do and watch because some things are not for children. They know that I expect them to always do their best in school and in all their activities (no I am not Chinese, but I do believe children need to be pushed to reach their full potential). They know that I will listen to their input (read arguments), but that I as their parent, have the final say, because I am the adult. So with all my faults, my children are still blossoming into wonderful preteens. Question is, will we survive the teenage years?
I am pretty certain they will turn out OK. There is nothing they could ever do, that would make me stop loving them. Nor anything that would make me even consider putting them on a bus to nowhere. What is wrong with people who expect young children to care for themselves? I understand that teens can be difficult; that some get caught up in drugs and violence. But if that happens, get help! Kicking them out on the street cannot ever be the solution, can it? I am not one who thinks it's OK to make excuses for kids' behaviour. They need to learn responsibility, and that means accepting the consequences for their own actions. I do however believe strongly that if a child is taught young what is right and wrong, along with respect for one self and others, and that it is OK to say no (just not to doing chores...) - it goes a long way. But in my opinion, most important in a child's life, is knowing that she is loved, and that a parent's love is unconditional.
It is easy to make a child, but to bring up a secure, healthy and happy child is a lifelong job, and the toughest one we can get. Luckily it is also the most rewarding!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dating vs. Friendship
I had the perfect summer fling last year; of my list of must haves in a guy, he was a perfect 10. And for the first time since leaving my marriage, I fell in love. The good times ended abruptly; however, when Yours Truly had a major meltdown, and decided to put it all in an email in the middle of the night. He apparently was not ready to deal with "the dark side" of Ms. Pink. Sadly, you don't get great make-up sex for meltdowns...that apparently only comes with arguments. Of course I wish I had thought of that before sending the infamous email, but I wasn't thinking too much at the time.
We have since made up and are now "friends". No we are not! It is impossible to be friends with someone you totally fell in love with. I know that some divorced couples manage to stay friendly; I try that too. When you have been in a partnership with someone over several years, you continue to care about their well being, and in many instances there are children to consider, but I dare to say that none are true friends. My "perfect man" and I text flirt; not during sex like some apparently like to do, but texting while on a date is not so bad...; we email, some times we talk on the phone, and very occasionally we meet for lunch. Basically we try to act like friends, but every time it stirs up all those good feelings again, and then the not so good ones when things go nowhere...again.
So we are moving on, but sadly, he seems to have ruined the whole dating experience for me. Rather than seeing the good in any other guy, they all get compared to him, and never really measure up. Someone said that love is the only cure for a broken heart. But it's hard to fall in love without really giving a guy a fair chance. Wish there was a cure! If you know of one, let me know!
We have since made up and are now "friends". No we are not! It is impossible to be friends with someone you totally fell in love with. I know that some divorced couples manage to stay friendly; I try that too. When you have been in a partnership with someone over several years, you continue to care about their well being, and in many instances there are children to consider, but I dare to say that none are true friends. My "perfect man" and I text flirt; not during sex like some apparently like to do, but texting while on a date is not so bad...; we email, some times we talk on the phone, and very occasionally we meet for lunch. Basically we try to act like friends, but every time it stirs up all those good feelings again, and then the not so good ones when things go nowhere...again.
So we are moving on, but sadly, he seems to have ruined the whole dating experience for me. Rather than seeing the good in any other guy, they all get compared to him, and never really measure up. Someone said that love is the only cure for a broken heart. But it's hard to fall in love without really giving a guy a fair chance. Wish there was a cure! If you know of one, let me know!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Texting During Sex???
Social Media overload? I admit, I am completely addicted to Facebook and can't go many hours without checking what's going on. A day without my email? Are you kidding? An hour without my phone? Not happening. But there are times I can do without any of it. During sex would be one of those times, but apparently not everybody thinks like me.
According to a 1000 person survey by Retrevo last year, 11% of people under the age of 25 and 6% of those over the age of 25 thinks it's OK to be interrupted by a text message during sex, and will actually stop to check the message.
I most be old fashioned, but if I can't keep a guy's attention even during sex, that would be the end of that story for me.....and it would cause a severe flare up of midlife crisis!!!
I most be old fashioned, but if I can't keep a guy's attention even during sex, that would be the end of that story for me.....and it would cause a severe flare up of midlife crisis!!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)