So I took a good look at the women mentioned in the article and thought that if they can wear sexy underwear, why shouldn't I? Granted the only thing I have in common with these women is age, but that is not the point. Why waste my money, you say? Well, even though I will be the only one ever seeing the lingerie, I figured it might make me feel better and at least a tad more sexy. I wasn't quite up to going to the department stores to browse through their assortment though, having my bikini episode fresh in mind, and decided to start on-line instead.
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| Photo by Roland Darby/FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
My friend has lingerie website, so I figured that was a great place to start. There was no problem finding sexy stuff to wear, along with some very interesting costumes, and I seriously considered buying a few pieces until I read the charts for sizes....Do the perfect 36-26-36 women actually exist anymore? Then what do you do when just one of those measurements fit? Check the queen size....?
And so I did. Sadly, the ego boost I was expecting from definitely looking better than the queen size models never came. Seriously?!? That is what a plus size model looks like? Then what category do I fit in? Heffer? Back to Google we go. "Sexy lingerie for sagging butt, boobs and love handles." The results? "This is not your Mother's Girdle." Really? The best we can do is the "suck me in and reshape" undergarments? And exactly which part of those are sexy? God, it sucks to be 40!
Luckily I also found a site for an exercise program that "tackles that extra jiggle in your tummy, butt or boob". I am now starting my boot-camp for boobs and butt, and expect to look like a 20 year old within a couple of weeks. You just wait. "Hot Mama" will be back shopping for lingerie in no time - maybe still the queen size, but at least I'll be out of the heffer category.
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