Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Is Texting Cheating?

This is not a new issue, but Anthony Weiner's recent actions has made it quite news worthy lately.  So is texting or sexting cheating? I don't think there is an easy answer to that.



Different people have different levels of what is acceptable in a relationship; from completely "open" relationships, where not only texting and sexting is acceptable, but also sexual relations with others, to the very traditional and conservative relationships where everything outside the two involved  could be considered cheating. And then of course everything in between. Which level of virtual activity that is acceptable, will vary right along with it. 

Without having any more expertise than being a woman and having been in relationships, my opinion is that anything you do in a relationship with regards to relations with other women/men, whether on-line or in person,  that you would not reveal to your partner, could be considered cheating.

Photo by Andy Newson/FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Is there really a difference between watching porn movies or texting/sexting with someone, as long as the relationship stays completely "virtual"?  Both, I guess, are just forms of  fantasies, but the big difference is one you watch, the other your are involved in.  If you feel comfortable telling your partner about your activity, then in my mind, there is no harm done.

However, failing to be honest about these "relations" can spark the following reaction: "I found out two days ago that my husband had been text messaging and calling a woman he met on a business trip. This has been going on for about 5 months. He swears nothing else happened--that it was just flirting. I feel like I am dying right now. We've had a great marriage and I don't know why he would do something like this." 



I actually think most of us would feel like this woman. And after the initial hurt, we would try to figure out what we did wrong for our man to feel the need to do this... But it takes two to tango, and men are obviously not the only ones that engage in texting and sexting. I can't imagine that a man finding out about his wife or girlfriend's "virtual activities" would feel any different about it, if she wasn't honest about it up front. 






Back to the Weiner case.  Let me first say, I don't condone his actions, but I feel more sorry for his wife for the public humiliation aspect of this than for what he actually did.  And I truly find it ridiculous that we expect him to get treatment...?!?  Is there actually treatment offered for sexting?  If so, when do you reach a level where treatment is necessary?



And last, some, of course, just want to cash in on it all.  HeroBuilders.com is now offering an Anthony Weiner action figure.  For an extra $10, you can get the Anthony Weiner  - Weiner anatomically correct, adult only action figure. But it might work well as a voodoo doll too, should you ever find the need for one. 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's all cheating! And, it starts way before the texting. So that line you hear all the time "i did not do anything just texted" is bull$hit! The cheating started in your mind before you meet the person, actually. Emotional relationship is when it all starts.

By the way, the dude holding the phone looks familiar, i think I know him....

Ms. Pink said...

Then we know how you feel, and I actually agree with you. Others might look at texting as harmless as long as it doesn't go any further. That to me is just playing with fire, but then I don't fall in the category of those who thinks "open" relationships are fine. Wouldn't work for me.

Geirstadaalf said...

Never say "Never"