Getting myself ready for the dating scene, and figured it could be nice to spruce up the ol' hag a little. So into the bathroom I went with hair color and a facial mask. I remember when it took me a half hour to get ready to go out. Now there is so much to fix, I have to plan ahead 3 or 4 days.
Apparently I am getting old and forgetful. I got the mask on my face, but never got started on the hair. The view in the mirror totally distracted me. What the hell happened?? You turn 40 and gravity just takes over? At this rate, my butt will hit the floor at 50. And what is that funky looking skin below the butt....cellulite??? What?!? The thighs somehow expanded, and the waist seems to have some added padding. I'd tried laughing at it, but then the wrinkles around my eyes were so magnified, so I cried a little instead, which smeared the mask and left my eyes red. Beauty at it's best, I tell you! Now let's wave and let the arms flap a little too. This is not looking good!!
A little exercise would probably help, but not by Saturday. So I'm cruising the web in search of instant solutions. Looks like a miracle bra (they could use a real miracle!) and some "suck me in" underwear is the best option....guess I'm going shopping tomorrow. And then, if I remember, we'll get the hair done too.
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